Have I lived long enough? Is there something else besides being a father that really matters? The world is too big. The distances too great. Too many people. Not enough love. Not enough humanity. Or nature, natural places and ways of living. Too much is constructed. Madrid is finished. My mom has left after 8 weeks of family, façade. I’m sad. We held each other and cried. Said goodbye. Then I made a long, lonely trip home.